To love or to be loved?

I was thinking about being in love today (as in, the concept of it.) I guess it’s a girl thing, I’m not sure. And I’ve got a question.

If there was a guy/girl who loved you to death and you liked him/her. And there was a guy/girl whom you loved to death and he/she liked you. Ceteris paribus, whom would you choose to be with?

[Edit: Abhinav says that to love someone is harder than to be loved which is the easy way out. So, now my question is, who's heart would you rather break?]

Miss understood

Printed words may no longer be just black on white, but the colours haven’t changed a thing. It’s still that easy for one to misinterpret another’s words in writing. Especially if you do not know someone well enough, you can hardly venture a guess to the tone behind a comment. I find that rather unnerving. Words on paper will never have the same effect as that of spoken words. Sarcasm can go completely unnoticed by an unsuspecting victim, which could be a good, bad, ugly, frustrating or disappointing thing to the sarcastic. In this regard, emoticons are a good thing because they sort of help express the emotion surrounding a comment. I know that many a ;) has saved me from being misunderstood.

Mommy!

Mom, I’m hungry.
Go to sleep, my child.

Mom, I’m hungry.
Pizza Hut, I’ve dialed.

Mom, I’m cold.
It’s all in your head, dear.

Mom, I’m cold.
I’ll switch on the heater.

Mom, I’m sick.
Close your eyes and pray.

Mom, I’m sick.
Drink this syrup right away.

A child’s needs,
Do not differ.

Be him rich,
Or be him poor.

So let’s join hands for,
a task extraordinary.

And hope we can help,
Make Poverty History.

[Note: Since this is an organization for a good cause, they're not going to sue me for using their name, right?]

The cliché called friend

Everybody is a friend these days. You meet someone on the train and exchange numbers. Friend. You room with someone for one year in college. Friend. You blogroll someone and they blogroll you back. Friend.

Not that I have anything against meeting people in this manner. I’ve met some wonderful people via this very blog, some not-so-wonderful people as college roommates, and pretty-much-nobody-I-remember-anymore on a train.

But what happened to the “friend” that we talk about in our historic quotes like “A friend in need is a friend indeed” or “Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies” or “A friend is one who walks in when others walk out”? Is that “friend” history?

The fact that almost every second person we acquaint ourselves with is called a friend, is what has led to terms such as ‘true friend’, ‘close friend’, ‘special friend’, ‘best friend’, ‘second-best friend’ etc!

Now, I have some friends who think the world about me; they pamper me and treat me like a queen. And when I call them “friends” and call other people “friends” too, I feel like I’m doing them grave injustice. Because these friends will literally give their lives for me, if it ever came to that. Maybe it’s because we met at that innocent age where letting him have the only blue crayon and choosing to colour my own sky green seemed like the biggest sacrifice. But there’s something about those childhood friends who have stuck with you over the years that you can never find in anybody you meet in your older years; the kind of friends you don’t necessarily have to talk to for days, weeks or even months and it makes not an iota of difference to the bond you share.

I have met amazing people throughout my life, be it physically or virtually. Sometimes I feel like I could never meet people nicer than those I’ve already met because I’ve already met the nicest! :) In fact, anybody who puts a smile on my face is someone I will remember for life. And that includes all those of you who’ve never even laid eyes upon me. However, there are those who will kill anybody who dares bring a tear to my eye. And I owe a lot of who I am today to them.

Here’s celebrating 20 years of friendship with Pradeep - who I know since the day I was born and was thus the second significant male, after my dad, in my infant years; 15 years of friendship with Vivek - who doesn’t spare a second to stop pulling my leg but gives me the best hugs in the world that translate into “you’re safe with me”; and 10 years of friendship with Mukundh - who would never dare to rat me out because I know all his dirty secrets as he does mine, Alok - who has made it very clear that he will, and I quote him, “chop the balls off any guy who tries to mess with me”, Bichu – who cracks mean jokes about me all the time but is the one who gets more teary-eyed every time we say goodbye, and Jeevan - who made sure I was laughing every second so that there was never time for me to cry. You guys mean the world to me and no amount of words could do justice to how blessed I feel to have you in my life. I love each one of you as if you were family. You guys are truly friends in every sense of the word.

Honorary mention - Ankit, Sandeep and Jobin. You are right up there too, though I sort of suspect that your friendliness has something to do with the fact that you have a major crush on me! ;) Yes, I love you too! :p

Ahh Men, Amen!

There are matters of the mind. Then there are matters of the heart. But most importantly, there are matters of the hormones. This post is a direct result of the third kind.

I love men.




As much as I’m ooh-la-la-ing while the likes of Travolta, Willis, Pitt and Depp (sigh!) strut their stuff around on the Hollywood screen, I’m attracted more towards the men of the Indian sub-continent. Personally, I’m not a big fan of the white skinned. They’re all quite bland, just like their food. I like my men like my chocolate – brown and rich. There are a few other ways I like my men like my chocolate, but I’ll leave that to the marvelous thing we call ‘the human imagination’. (Johnny Depp sure knows how to remain desirable, first with “Chocolat” and now with “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”. Yum.)

Even amongst chocolaty men, my hormones have their biases. Muslim men. It’s probably not the right time globally to say things like that but hormones know no sense. It’s been evident in Bollywood for quite a few years now, what with the Khans having overtaken the industry – Aamir, Shah Rukh, Salman, Saif, and now Zayed. Our Hritiks and Abhisheks are a recent discovery. My current Bollywood Muslim heartthrob is Emraan Hashmi. Ever since I saw him half-naked in the “Bheegey Hont” video, I’ve been… err… thinking… yeah, thinking about him. Gorgeous, gorgeous man.

Speaking of Muslim men, I have a confession to make. I think Pakistani men are HOT. I won’t get into the details of how hot I think they are because that could cause me to be ripped off my Indian passport. Let’s just say that they make me do things; things that can only be explained with the phrase “Damn those hormones.” One man who had control over my hormones for a long, long time was Shoaib Akhtar. With his pace, those fiery eyes and that really long run up that made his ultra-silky hair bounce up and down, I was a goner. (Quick Trivia: I was heart-broken when Akhtar turned down the offer to play the lead role in Mahesh Bhatt’s latest venture “Gangster”!)

However, no matter how hard this may be to believe, even hormones know loyalty. There will always be that one man who is capable of making you shun all men throwing themselves at you, albeit all at once. Ooh, now there’s a delightful image. Anyway, before I get carried away, as is the case with every delectable man, he falls under one of the two heart-breaking categories. And I’ve yet to be attracted to a gay man.

He’s married. He’s got a beautiful wife. He’s the father of two kids. He’s the object of my obsessive affection. Unfortunately for me, he’s Arjun Rampal.

“You can’t fire me. I quit.” – Bill Maher

I think it takes a lot of guts to kill yourself. It’s stupid, maybe.

“Suicide is for cowards.” Somehow this is a statement that’s hard for me to comprehend. And in all honesty, I disagree with it. It’s easy for us to say that he didn’t have the guts to live, or to face his obstacles and overcome them. It’s easy for us to say that everyone has problems. But put yourself in the head of the person who is about to kill himself.

Life, in itself, is a beautiful thing. And in spite of a lot of shit that we all face, we are still alive. We choose to live. I’m sure many of us have come across moments where we wish we were dead. I know I have. But I couldn’t in a million years take my life. I’ve thought about it, yes. But carry it out? No way! That’s when I wonder; what must it be that drives someone to hang himself, or take an overdose of pills, or shoot himself in the head?

How does one feel about not being able to see another day ever again? How does one feel about not being able to spend time with his loved ones ever again? Is it really easy to end your life? Could you do it? So how must his life be that he doesn’t care to keep it? How and when does a person decide that his life is worth nothing? How do you think that makes him feel?

I’m not justifying the act of suicide. Or maybe I am. My point is that nobody sits and tosses a coin everyday saying, “Heads, I live. Tails, I die.” If the question is do I think suicide is an act of cowardice? My answer is no.

It’s stupid, maybe. But I think it takes a lot of guts to kill yourself.

Note: If anybody is hit by a sudden bout of courage and decides to commit suicide, don’t forget to mention me in your suicide note. And while I’m on the subject, take note that it’s not “I’ve decided to suicide” but “I’ve decided to commit suicide”. You don’t want to leave on the wrong note, do you?

Press one; Depress many

It is becoming increasingly clear that people want to have less to do with each other. In the process of becoming technologically advanced, I think we’re all becoming socially stunted. Person-to-person interactions are decreasing by the day. The Internet has obviously had the biggest hand to play in this situation. People need not physically meet to become friends. There’s no need to go down to the video store and ask the video-guy, while checking him out, which movie he thinks is 'worth the watch'. Even groceries can be bought online. One need not bother walking down aisles, looking for the perfect gift; no more worrying about if the gift’s wrapped right; no more having to go down to the post office and getting it parceled off to somewhere, when it can all be done with the click of a button.

As much as this has made life “easier” and gets things done faster with lesser hassle, what we’re missing is ‘the personal touch’. It may sound lame, but think about it. Do you appreciate an e-card more, or one that has been posted to you? Both gestures are sweet, but the fact that someone took some time out to pick out a card and fill it out makes you feel good, doesn’t it? These are the little things we’re losing out on due to technology.

The telephone is a marvelous invention indeed. To be able to keep in touch with people in completely different time zones is a great thing. But here’s what else it has done:

Before-

A: Hey! Let’s go over to the C’s today. We haven’t seen them in a long time.
B: That’s a great idea. Let’s surprise them!
A: I’ll get the keys.

Today-

A: Hey! Let’s go over to the C’s today. We haven’t seen them in a long time.
B: Hmmm. Maybe we should call them first. It would be rude to interrupt if they’re busy.
A: I’ll get the phone.

Speaking of telephones brings me back to the reason I started writing this post.

Customer service has sure come a long way, hasn’t it? At first, we interacted with humans. That I could deal with. Then, we interacted with machines that went “Press 1 for English, press 2 for …” and if you waited long enough after the message was done, the pause would be followed with a “To speak to an agent, press 0”. That I could deal with too. Sometimes you got an agent that was a machine-like human. That also I could deal with. Nowadays, we interact with human-like machines. And that I CANNOT deal with. It’s not only because of the fact that a machine mocks me with statements like “I did not hear/understand your response”, “If you want me to repeat the menu, please say yes” or “If you’re looking to have phone sex, you’ve got the wrong number”; but more often that not it never helps answer the query you have. Because if I wanted my own flight details, Delta, I’d look into my ticket!!!

All I want is to be able to speak to a human agent again. I don’t care if he or she has the temper of someone who’s just caught his and/or her lover in bed with someone else. The last time I had that opportunity (to speak to a human agent, I mean) was when I’d not paid my phone bill in three months. Oh, then they wanted to speak to me, alright. But I just let them deal with a human voice on a machine that went “Hey guys. I’m not available right now…”

Forgive me Lord, for I have sinned.

A bunch of insects, I did kill.
Spare I may if, they not offend.
But dare bite me, and sin I will.

You still sleep with the light on?

You’re someone who loves life. You love who you are. You love the feeling of living.

One not so fine day, something terrible happens that changes your life forever. You’re tortured to no end. You come out of it alive but the scars remain.

You’re not the same person anymore. You don’t love who you’ve become. Living is another name for running away from your past.

Would you rather die? Or would you rather continue living even though the memories haunt you every single day of your life?

It's Valen-time!

It's been a while since I showed-off (Personally, I think it should be show-offed, just like how the plural of mom-in-law should be mom-in-laws!) my poetry. Here's one I wrote on Valentine's Day. Enjoy the mush...

Valentine Rhyme

I don’t want jewels; I don’t want gold
I want someone at night to hold

I don’t want cars; I don’t want shoes
I just want hugs and I love you’s

No fancy clothes, or costly gifts
Just smiles and laughs, in spite of rifts

Forget the rose, and lavish dine
Kisses all day will do just fine

Just want a man I can call mine
Darling, will you be my Valentine?

Huh ?!?

I’m broke, in terms of ideas worth blogging about; as dry as the Sahara desert. (I was going to use another analogy there but kids might read this stuff, right? Anyway, for those of you with over-imaginative minds, think of all things dry!) So, I’m looking around my room trying to be inspired by something. I’ve written about the mess a gazillion times so I’m sure no one wants to hear about glue sticks lying open (when I would have eventually digressed to mention how gum is such a funny word to me now) or about the silver fish that reside in my room under, well just about, anything. I stared long and hard at my Garfield poster but even he failed to inspire. And that’s when it hit me - The Cold War. That is going to be my topic for my major term paper in Political Science. Does anyone know how to make sure your entire body is in sync with the current season? Because my hair is under the impression that it’s Fall!

Quick Tale Parody

She was unconscious and her body lay limp in his hands. He stripped off her clothes and held her under cold running water. He put her down and let the tub fill with water. He took out his special knife that he always used for those like her. Without hesitation, he brought it down and slit her throat. The manoeuvre was swift and professional. He had done this many times before. Yet his eyes always teared up. He watched as the water turned red. Then he turned around and walked away. They would find her body tomorrow.

(Some things are exactly what they seem to be.)

I'm going to kill them all !!!

Mark my words. I'm going to kill them ALL. Each fucking one of them.

Spinster – A tale spun

I was really excited. This was going to be our last time out before the wedding. My fiancé and I wanted it to be memorable. Being the adventurous kind, we chose to go to WaterWhirled - a theme park. Our friends warned us that horrid things happened to people there, and tried to stop us from going. They even narrated incidents that they had either heard about or someone they had known had experienced. And to be quite honest, it did freak me out a bit. But I convinced myself that they must only be rumours. Furthermore, not many people were daring like us.

WaterWhirled was nothing like I had imagined. It was a magical place. There were all sorts of rides. First, we went on a ride where we sat in this huge boat-like structure, and it swayed from side to side and went up and down. We both got off the ride feeling a little dizzy but exhilarated. “What a great story to tell our kids”, I exclaimed.

All of a sudden my fiancé stopped in his tracks. I followed his gaze to see what had made him do so. There, in front of us, was this gigantic ride. It stood out from all the other rides in the park, not just because of its size, but because of the huge number of people lined up to enter it. I could see my fiancé was thrilled and he tugged at my arm, “Let’s go line up!” But something about the ride looked sinister to me. “Do you think this could be the ride that is the root of all those scary stories?” I asked. “Oh don’t be silly, dear. Crazy things only happen in the Bermuda Triangle”, he replied with a scoff. Not wanting to look like a sissy in front of him, I went along.

Once in the line, all my fears evaporated. The energy in the atmosphere was contagious. I looked around in awe. There were people of all shapes, sizes and colours. A sign outside the entrance to the ride read “Do not panic. It’s dark inside and you may think you’re lost. But once the ride is over and you step out, you’ll be fine.” I held on tight to my fiancé. I didn’t want to get lost in this mob. When the ride began, I couldn’t remember anymore if I’d come with someone or by myself, because I was having way too much fun. It was the best ride so far, and I could now understand what the hype was all about. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and when the ride was over, I wanted to do it all over again. I waited at the exit for my fiancé, because true to its word, the ride had gotten me lost.

I watched as the people came out, some looking worn out, while others were in high spirits. I waited and waited and waited but there was no sign of him at all. Then I began to panic. I waited till the next round of people came out too, but he still wasn’t anywhere to be seen. I tried to push my friends’ stories out of my head as I looked everywhere for him. But in the crowd, it was like looking for a needle in a haystack. I rushed into the nearest bathroom and burst into tears. I could hear my father’s words in my head, “There will be times when you will feel like the world has come crashing down upon you. And it will, because that’s what happens to people like us. You will find yourself alone on more than one occasion. But don’t give up hope. Someday you will have somebody who will be by your side for a long time.” I dried my tears and looked up into the mirror in front of me. My white complexion had turned completely red. I couldn’t even recognize myself anymore. “It sure does suck to be a sock.”

Bitchy Bitch

You know what I haven't done in a long time? Bitched. And to be honest, I miss it. It's one of the things I do best. And I sure as hell don't want to lose that talent. There’s just so much to bitch about in this world. There are always the Americans and the Chinese. Perennial bitching fodder, I must say. I could also bitch about the weather here that has mood swings worse than a PMSy woman. It’s summer, damn it! There’s nothing to make up your mind about. Or I could bitch about anonymous people who leave nasty messages on my blog. Though in a way, I do find it amusingly flattering because obviously I’m worth someone’s time; someone I’ve never met or exchanged a single word with. Bitching is good for my soul. The more I bitch, the more I appreciate the good things in my life. So, if I’ve ever bitched about you, thank you. In a weird sort of way, you’ve made me happy. Even you, anonymous. So here’s to bitching, forever.

World peace is just days away. Trust me.

This news piece will make you realize how the world is becoming a much better place to live in, and that soon we will live in a war-free world because obviously, everybody is starting to get along so well.

It's 9 p.m.

And the sun hasn't set yet!