Hungry anyone?

It's bad enough that Taiwanese food is hard to stomach!!!!!

How do people eat there without losing their appetite?

And it's not just the decor. Oh no. The cutlery keeps with the theme too!

"Honey, how about we dine at The Martun (Chinese for toilet) today? You know I've always fantasized about eating out of a toilet bowl."

*runs to hurl into a toilet bowl*

Edit: Just in case my point didn't get through clear enough...

Straight or otherwise, better be doubly sure ;)

So here is a conversation between a friend of mine and a friend of his. They are talking about homosexuality. My friend is okay with it. His friend however, thinks otherwise.

His Friend: What if your son tells you that he is homosexual?
My Friend: It is really up to him. If that’s the person he is comfortable being, then there is nothing I have to say. What if your son tells you that he is homosexual?
His Friend: I will ask him to try sleeping with a girl first.
My Friend: If your son is having sex with a girl, will you ask him to try it with a guy too just so he is sure?

In my head, this plays out like a comic strip! The character of His Friend would have that stumped expression on his face. Something like this...

(Okay, so I just wanted to use the new Blogger Images feature. Get over it! :p)

Tired after a stressful week? Relax. Watch a movie. Yeah right!!!

Why has trying to understand the plot of a movie become as cruel as forcing a 5 year old to learn calculus? I just watched Memento. And I have a headache. Most of today’s movies are all about confusing and messing up the brain. I watch movies to escape reality. But now they’re all too real. It’s bad enough we have ample situations of complexity in our lives. Why would we want to pay money to watch it on screen too? Murders, stealing, adultery, suicide… all these are borrowed from life. 5 years ago, I would have been amazed by such movies. Wow, I would wonder. How did they ever think of something like that? But now I have my own problems. I want to watch a movie only to feel good. However, there are people who truly love these movies. Do they lead such simple happy lives that these movies are a mode of cheap thrill? I’ve decided that from now on I’m only going to watch movies that either have Ben Stiller or Meg Ryan in them. Or else, it’s cartoons for me.

Once bitten, itches long

My room is a mess.
Looks worse than ere.
I've been bitten.
Probably by a spider.

My right palm itches.
A hell lot.
So maybe I'll blog.
Maybe not.

Or read a book.
Instead of twiddle my toes.
"Handling spider-related itches."
By Arrack Nidd Vose.

Knowing me, knowing you

About Me,

This is usually the first place my eyes go to on somebody’s blog. And I’m sure I’m speaking for a majority here. But none of us actually answer that question (?) in the real sense. A couple of adjectives tell me nothing about you. Everybody is kind or funny or stupid or fair or smart. I personally don’t think adjectives could do justice to me. What is it that makes one unique? We’re all not the same kind of funny, are we? Well, I’ll tell you what makes me ‘me’. And I couldn't care less if Google or Blogger or the CIA, for that matter, wish to use this information against me. (There is obviously a lot more to me than is listed here but some information cannot be made public.)

I love – popping bubble wraps. (I was addicted at one point. There have been cat fights with my sister over this. I still have claw scars for proof.)

I hate – fluctuating showers. (I have never experienced this before coming to the west. I don’t know what the flaw in the pipe systems here is, but way too many times I’ve found the bliss of my hot bath being annihilated with a burst of cold water.)

I scare – when the toaster pops. (I am not embarrassed. I am NOT EMBARRASSED.)

I fear – the dark. (Now you all know why else I stay up all night.)

I loathe – insects. (Even butterflies!)

I am particularly proud of – being a vegetarian. (I feel less barbaric.)

My ex-definition of life - “Life is like a roller-coaster ride. It has its ups and downs.” (I soon realized the huge difference because I particularly love the ride down on a roller coaster.)

My current definition of life – Life is a four-letter word indeed.

I feel bad about – not going to be able to hear every song ever made in the history of mankind.

I would risk my life to – go bungee jumping. (But I want it to be a couple-thing. Death won’t do us part!)

Food I’m craving – Indian chaat food followed by some jalebis. (What would it take to get one freaking plate of pani puri around here???)

Something I want but am afraid to go through with – is a scorpion tattoo. (I haven’t decided where yet and suggestions will not be entertained!)

If I were granted one wish – I would wish for my uncle to be alive.

A habit I’ve got – is to associate close friends and special events in my life with specific songs.

If there is one quality I could change about me – it would be my tendency to proc… uhm… how about I finish this some other time okay?

So, what about you?

Hmmm

So, I was thinking today... do I really think my writing is a misspelled version of shit? Do I want my readers to think that? Oh, wait. I don’t care about my readers, right? I vehemently pressed upon that point a few posts ago.

Anyway, for some reason or none at all, Vaibhav was coming up with different blog titles for me. And I thought, "hmmm. Why not? Change is inevitable, eh?" Here’s what his brain cooked up:

[Ms. V and all the idiots who read me (I kinda like the sound of it! Though this one was a joint effort.)
Honkers and Hooters
Outrage on Popular Demand
Opinion… or something like it
Sex, Lies, and Vids (My absolute favourite!!!) ] ©

Please take note of the tiny little c in the circle. So, anybody else wants to give me their cents on this matter – two or otherwise? Preferably, otherwise.

Go Bangladesh!!!

THIS is what I love about sports.

The underdog beats the giant. David defeats Goliath. It's so boring to see one team win all the time; frustrating actually. You go boys-in-dark-green!

Why are batsman given more importance than bowlers? Was Pieterson's 91 more important than the 5 wickets Harmison took - 3 out of which he took from 4 balls in the same over? Wasn't Baisya's contribution as important as Ashraful's? Applause for Ashraful's 100 runs from 100 balls though! Respectable indeed.

The important thing is that the best is being toppled. Nothing reigns forever. I've had enough of the Aussie monopoly over the game. I truly hope this is the beginning of the end for Australia.

THIS is what I love about cricket.

And you think you have problems?!?

Divorce Act now reads ‘persons’

Madam Justice Laura Gerow made the ruling Thursday, “reading in” the new terminology, after hearing a divorce case involving two Nanaimo women.

J.S., who brought the divorce, and C.F. were married in July 2003, shortly after same-sex marriage was made legal in this province. The marriage ended in May 2004.

Although the couple met all the requirements to legally dissolve their union, the phrase “man and woman” prevented them from being granted a divorce.

Bittersweet

I'm a person of extremes.

There are some things I just couldn't give two hoots about. I clearly know what and who is worth my time and energy.

Then, there are those that I care about deeply - things that I'm passionate about and people that I adore.

However, there is a third kind - a kind that I care about so much that it makes me cry everyday.

And I HATE to cry.

For those of you who care to know more - http://forever-alive.blogspot.com.

O System Nervosa!

(Curtains open)

Act I. Scene I. The Head

BRAIN

Anger. Burn. Cross. Displeasure. Exasperation. Fury. Gall. Hatred.

Act I. Scene II. The Mouth

Enter ICE-CREAM

Act I. Scene III. The Head

BRAIN

Jolly. Kewl. Lively. Merry. Nirvana …

Act II. Scene I. The Belly

STOMACH

Mmmmm.

(Curtains close)

THE END

Why do I blog?

Because I love the attention.

Now that I’ve said what everyone wants to hear, let me answer the question.

Because I love to write.

Period. (Although being a highly opinionated person helps tremendously.)

And I love to write because it's the only way I can say whatever I want about anything without being interrupted. (translated as 'pure bliss for a female')

If you’ve read through a bit of my blog, you’ll notice that I write about varied things. But more importantly, I try to write in varied styles. I love words. I love to play around with them. Be it poetry or prose, I like to try to word them differently. As much as it is flattering when someone reads my work and identifies it as mine, I want it otherwise. I want people to read my work and not believe that I wrote it. I want to be unpredictable.

I’d recently written a poem “Unstrung” which I am quite proud of. A friend (Mahesh) commented something along the lines of “I didn’t believe you wrote it… but then I saw your characteristic last-line punch.” That's when I realised it. I don't want my poetry, my prose or even my blog for that matter to be able to be typecast, even if in a positive sense.

I don’t know how good a job I do but I try to experiment with my writing. I usually am not one for subtletly because I couldn't care to be polite. I think the problem is that I can't hold back what I truly have to say when I write. But it will some day be part of my experimenting. One trademark however is that I keep it simple. It’s not because I don’t know big words, but I believe the beauty is in being able to portray a sentiment using lots of simple words rather than one flowery word. This helps especially when I go back to read my work. I can relate to the feeling I was experiencing while writing it if I have it explained in terms like “I was so happy that I was jumping up and down with joy” rather than “I was over the moon.” Not to say that I don’t use complicated words and phrases sometimes because after all, that is part of my experimentation process. But you would never need to use a dictionary while reading my blog. If you do, I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but your English sucks. Sometimes though, I come across a word somewhere that I have never used in my vocabulary and it strikes me as odd, so I will make use of it just for the heck of it. Though I am aware that there is a plethora (word-never-used-in-vocabulary alert!) of words out there and one can probably never use every English word ever documented in his lifetime.

I am my biggest fan and my biggest critic. I believe that to love to write one has to love to read too. Which is why I love to read through stuff I've written earlier and feel either terribly proud or absolutely disgusted.

I appreciate the fact that people take the time to read my blog and leave their comments – be it so that I return the favour or whether they truly enjoy what they read. After all, feedback is always useful. But if all my readers were to disappear and stop commenting, trust me, that wouldn't stop me from continuing to write. I hardly ever write to please the people who might be reading. In fact, I’m a rather selfish writer in that aspect. But if my words do please people, I am more than happy. There is nothing I love more than to be able to put a smile on someone’s face, but writing is one of the last ways I use to consciously do so. As someone well-known-but-obviously-not-famous-enough-because-I-don’t-remember-his-or-her-name once said, “Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.”

Caution: Movie spoilers ahead

Gary Gray. What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of this name? (Other than the fact that it’s a rather cool name, in my opinion, and that there are 10 times more chances that his full name would be misspelled.) When I hear the name, I think, "This is the guy who should direct every second movie, at the least". (For all those of you who are going Aah! He’s a movie director, you’re welcome.) Maybe the titles “The Negotiator” and “The Italian Job” ring a bell. (If not, go kill yourself!) Well, I just finished watching his latest movie about 2 days ago and am still on a high, which is what this post is a result of. Black guys should definitely direct more often!

I can’t remember the last time I saw a movie that was just purely entertaining. Nowadays movies force you to put every (working) grey cell into use to help you figure out the deep meaning that is obviously hidden ‘deeply’ somewhere. Or else you have to watch a movie holding your breath for you dare not gasp because if you miss one syllable, you will lose track of the plot you were so religiously following. But today I watched a movie that made me go from aww to oh my god! to ooh la la; a movie that has me smiling days after I’ve finished watching it. Be cool is that movie – the reason why the movie industry is called “The Entertainment Business” and the reason why their tagline is “It’s show time!”.

I don’t know where to start about this movie. But most importantly, there is no plot whatsoever. And with due respect to the writer, that is the best part of the movie. The beauty of the movie is that each character is a ‘character’ – each of which has been played by a star. Now who doesn’t love to simply watch a star-studded cast. Anyone who loved “Ocean’s Twelve” knows what I mean. This is by no means like “Get Shorty”. That movie was a classic for its own reasons. But this movie is amazing for the fact that in spite of so many actors, each character stands out like a diamond in the rough. Which only makes all of them diamonds!

John Travolta – No amount of words can do full justice to him. In fact, I can’t think of a more apt person to “be cool”. And to watch him dance again was simply delightful. How can someone be this charismatic at 50 years of age is beyond my understanding. But I’m not complaining. I would pay to watch Travolta just sit and breathe.

Uma Thurman – It was great to be able to relive the Thurman-Travolta chemistry to say the least. I don’t think she’s the prettiest face around but I’d give anything to look half as good as her in a bikini.

Vince Vaughn – I just watched “Dodgeball” a few days ago and thought he was adorable. But when I watched him play ‘the white guy who thinks he’s black’, I fell in love with him. He is absolutely hilarious. Twinkle twinkle baby. He truly entertains.

Cedric the entertainer – Nothing more needs to be said. His name says it all. You can’t love ‘the bad guy’ of a movie any more than this.

Christina Milian – I think her role in the movie must be a reflection of her life right now. She plays a singer who becomes famous. And she is in reality too. Two of her singles are showcased in the movie, which is going to do wonders for her career. She has a beautiful voice.

Andre 3000 – Known more famously for being one half of the group “Outkast”, Andre is perfect for the role of the clumsy gangster who keeps shooting at the wrong time.

And last but not the least, The Rock – If there’s one thing you know The Rock is not, is that he’s not gay. And to see him play a gay bodyguard who can’t even throw a punch right is something you would never buy! But he makes it so believable that you wonder if this is the same guy who used to flex his muscles and do the Do-you-smell-what-the-Rock-is-cooking routine. His comic timing is perfect and his one-brow raised trademark just ROCKS! And who knew that The Rock of all people could sing an entire song and dance to it??? Mind you, it’s the funniest video in the history of mankind. “You ain’t woman enough to take my man.” Haha! My stomach still aches from all that laughing. Gosh. He is SO sexy. And as a gay man, he was all the more desirable. (You want what you can’t have, right?)

If none of the characters amuse you, the dialogues should. “What do you tell a man who has got two black eyes? Nothing. He’s already been told twice.” Or when someone asks Travolta, “Who are all these people trying to kill you?” and he replies, “I don’t know. I’m in the music business now. It could be anybody.” Or when he replies to Danny De Vito asking him why he doesn’t own a car with speed, “If you’re important, people will wait.” In fact, the movie starts with Travolta saying “I hate sequels.” My favourite dialogue however is when Travolta is complaining about how if the f word is used more than once in a movie, then it is rated R. And he follows that up by saying “Well, fuck that.” And you never hear the f word again for the rest of the movie. (You’ll only get the joke if you'd observed that the movie is rated PG-13.)

I don’t do movie reviews too often. But it’s been a long time since a movie made me feel this good and relaxed. So just thought I’d spread the joy. And well, I also know that everybody likes to “Be Cool… Very Cool.”

Wish granted, RA :D

I'm so shocked. I don't know what to say. I didn't expect this at all. *sniff sniff* I feel so honoured.

First of all, I would like to thank my parents without whom this wouldn't have been possible. I thank my sister and my friends who believed in me. I would like to thank my computer teacher, Mr. C Pluss from school who taught me how to type. I would also like to thank Mr. Gramm A.R. Wright and Mrs. Sim Elyse, my middle and high school English teachers for teaching me good English. I thank Best Buy who provided me my laptop and Shaw Cable Systems for being an excellent ISP. And last but not the least, I thank all my fans who are the reason I am here today. You guys are great. Thank you so much. Thank you!

Warning: Plagiarism ahead!

Since my brain cells are way too tired to come up with something original today, I'm just going to put down something I read in this novel "Memory of all that":

"To be in love compels us to haunt the hidden corners of a loved one's life, to explore those years when he or she was inhabiting the same planet but unknown to us, and a sense of loss pervades us."

Gosh. My blog is becoming weak. The next post will have some definite bitching.

Sirens everywhere

Attn: All guys who honk at, whistle at, “Hey baby” at females walking on the street while you’re driving past in your vehicle

What are you trying to tell us? Is it just something you do to anything-female-that-moves when you drive by? Or do you choose your ‘victims’ (and I’m using this word very lightly here)?

Before imaginations start running wild, let me clarify a few things.

1. My pants were on fine, so there wasn't any peek-a-boo action going on with my arse.

2. I did not have the words “Honk if you’re drunk\horny\lonely” written or printed on any part of me or my clothing.

3. I wasn’t walking ON the road.

It’s not so much the honking that bothers me but the characteristic creepy group laugh that accompanies it which can be heard invariably because the windows are rolled down. Has anyone noticed that it’s a group activity? I haven’t ever seen only one guy try to communicate with someone on the pavement, unless he knows that someone personally. I’m just curious as to how this phenomenon came about. And what does it truly accomplish? Is it sexually stimulating, an adrenaline rush or a moment of sheer pride over the fact that your car horn actually works? It seriously beats me.

In other news, you won’t believe what happened today. I got honked at.

Sweet dreams :)

Most of you have probably read this some way or the other, but since I haven’t officially posted it on my blog, here it is.

Dreams
- By Me

Everyone has dreams
Come true, just a few
Dreams of gold and riches
And houses and cars new

It hurts not, to dream
Yet hurts to see 'em shatter
But dream I did anyways
My spirits, it did not deter

Dreamt of kisses and cuddles
And pillow talks
Of beaches at sunset
And moonlight walks

Simple dreams they all
Yet hard to fulfill
It matters not to me
Dream on, I will

Everyone has dreams
Come true, just a few
But all of mine did
The day I found you

B-e-a-utiful!

A post on RA's blog about "Simple pleasures of life" reminded me of an essay I had to write for my English class comparing and contrasting any two things. Just felt like sharing it with friends, friend's friends and absolute strangers.

Beauty – is it taken for granted?

‘Nanaimo is a beautiful city.’ That is what the tourist brochures claim. And there is no doubt about it either. Ever since I arrived in Nanaimo three weeks back, I have been left awestruck by its beauty. Its breathtaking scenery, its beautiful romantic sunsets, its calm yet mysterious waters; all make it seem like it is indeed paradise on earth. The aura of this city aroused my senses like none other. I was walking about the city, consuming in all its beauty. I desired to blend with my surroundings. Suddenly, I am jerked back into reality by the blaring noise of the bus horn. I look around me and realize that all the people are so busy going about their daily chores – running to school, driving to work, mending the garden – that they do not once stop to watch, touch or feel these precious gifts of nature that God has bestowed upon them. I wondered how people could be so indifferent to it all, so immune to this beauty. Was it because they were born into this paradise, they took this beauty for granted?

I think of Muscat, the city where I have lived the best part of the eighteen years of my life. Had I also been the same, and failed to recognize the beauty around me? Had I fallen prey to human nature too? I realize that I indeed had. Not once had I appreciated what I had been blessed with around me. Bittersweet memories from my past flash across my mind, taking me for a few moments to another time and place. It’s not that I had ever underestimated Muscat’s beauty. It’s just that I had never given it another glance. Now that I was away, I longed for the cool soft sands, the bare rocky mountains, the calm quiet beaches and the rough playful sea. A rustling in the leaves brings me back to this paradise again. Two cute rabbits and some graceful deer are playing about the trees and grass. I am immediately stabbed with a feeling of guilt. Never once had I stopped and gazed at the majestic camels that lived back home.

The two cities are not alike in any sense. Nanaimo is on an island, surrounded by water, covered with tall trees – pine trees, cedar trees, apple trees, acorn trees, trees I have never seen or heard of before. Muscat is in the desert, covered with sand, with the occasional tall date palms looking back at you from the horizon. Nanaimo has lush green grass wherever you look. The only greenery you’ll ever find in Muscat will be in the backyard of a house whose owners have a passion for gardening. In Nanaimo, you can feel the cold wet air brushing your face, but in Muscat, it’s only hot dry winds that will blow through your hair. Nanaimo is blessed with four seasons, ranging from times when the leaves fall off the tree to times when you have the occasional snowfall. In Muscat, it’s considered surprising if it rains for more than one day in a year. One city has what the other does not. Yet both these places are beautiful in their own respect.

As I stand here, looking around at nature’s wonders around me, I slowly find myself wanting to be less awed by it all. How could I let myself be taken away by this beauty, when I had always lived in somewhere equally beautiful? That is when it dawned on me that maybe it is not the case that people take all this beauty for granted. Maybe they have lived in this beauty for so long that it has become a part of them, and they really don’t need to stop to look at the rabbits play, or gaze at the sunset, or stare at the grey clouds that promise rain. I was a stranger to this foreign beauty and hence felt the need to acquaint myself with these gifts of nature. But for the people of Nanaimo, it had become a part of them, a part of their existence. All they ever needed to do was close their eyes and they would see the panoramic beauty unfold in front of their eyes, in the same way that I had experienced. I realized that the beauty of Muscat was a part of me and I never had to look far, but within myself, whenever I found myself missing home.

We are, after all human, and it is impossible not to be moved by beauty around us. Beauty is so powerful that we are not even aware when it becomes a part of us. Everything is beautiful. Everything. If something doesn’t seem beautiful, the first question you must ask yourself is why you think it’s not beautiful. You will soon realize that there is, in fact, no reason at all.