Birthday Bummed

UPDATE:

Alok replies - http://alokdamodarn.blogspot.com/

Preface

“If you’re famous, everything you say becomes a famous quote” – Me

“You know what my New Year’s resolution is? 1024 x 768.” – Shvetank

“You forgot my birthday.” – Alok

Stop. Rewind. Play.

“You forgot my birthday.” - Alok

Stop. Look at calender. 28th January, 2006.

*Huh? It’s just turned 28th. I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN!!!*

Slap myself on the forehead.

“Shit. I’m a fucking idiot.” – Me

Chapter 1

28th January is the birthday of one of my dearest, closest, most valuable friends. And I totally messed up. Of course, I didn’t forget his birthday. That’s impossible. What I forgot was the fucking time difference. Especially since he just moved to Malaysia last week. That’s 14 hours.

I wake on 28th morning and see a message on my cellphone. It reads, “I was waiting for the past 24 hours. You forgot my birthday. But hope you’re okay.” Because it is indeed true that since 7th grade (and that’s how long I’ve known him), I’ve been the first one to wish him on his birthday. At the stroke of midnight (usually), I call him up to wish him. He turned 21 yesterday. And what did I do? I fucking screwed up.

In my defense though, I didn’t have his phone number. He just moved to Malaysia. So I don’t think he has one yet. But I was planning on sending him an e-card, as much as I didn’t want to. I wanted to talk to him. Anyway, before I could even send him a card, or write him an email, I read this message first thing on 28th morning. And I’m upset. Majorly upset. Because I did screw up. And after I read the message, I didn’t feel like sending him that card anymore. I had to do something more to make up. So, I’m doing what I believe I do best when I feel like an idiot. I write.

Chapter 2

Alok was probably my first indication to me that I swing the heterosexual way. Not that I knew any better at that age. But I knew I was smitten. He was the cutest, cuddliest thing I’d ever seen. And if my description of him sounds like I may be talking about a teddy bear, it’s because I am. He’s as adorable as a teddy bear. I spent all of grade 7 being delighted by the fact that I was good friends with the cutest guy ever.

In grade 8, I’d confessed to two of my friends, M and S that I thought Alok was cute. M and S being guys, and stupid, went and told Alok. Then, they came and told me that they told him. I immediately began to cry. “Now Alok’s never going to talk to me”, I think to myself. “He’ll avoid me, and ignore me”. A few minutes later, Alok’s at my desk. I’m horrified now. “Don’t cry. It’s okay. I don’t mind.” That’s what he said, or something to that effect. I was wailing, so I can’t be sure. But I couldn’t have been more relieved. First of all, he was talking to me. And secondly, there is no secondly. Who cares about anything else? He was talking to me! TALKING! Woohoo! And for some weird reason, we became the best of friends since then. I think it was because of the way he came to console me. At that age, boys are at their stupidest, to say the least. Look at what M and S did! But the way Alok knelt down next to me and smiled at me reassuringly, I was really impressed. Of course, I was. It took me about a year to get over the fact that he’d never like me in “that” way. But it was only in the coming years that I would realize what I had gained instead.

Grade 11. We were rudely separated by education. I chose Science and he chose Commerce. What was even ruder though was the way I ignored him. I’d been elected as Head Girl. I had new classmates, a new set of friends. In all the hullabaloo, I completely ignored Alok. In short, I became a bitch. But he didn’t stop caring.

It’s only after we’ve gone our ways after school that I’ve realized how much he truly means to me. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, they say. You bet it does. I miss him to death. He is only guy whom I can walk down the darkest alley with and feel absolutely safe. Because nothing scares him. Or at least, he does a damn good job of pretending nothing does. He’s been through hell in his life. From crazy fathers of crazy girlfriends threatening him to being mugged and beaten up on the streets by crazy street thugs, he’s been through it all. I think he’s seen all objects that can be used as a weapon far more closely than most people our age have. And it’s not that he’s gotten himself into these situations. Somehow, they find him. It’s like he’s always at the wrong place at the wrong time. But he says it’s all made him stronger. He could have just quit when things were going wrong. But he always stuck it out. And I admire him for that.

I’ve always admired him for his guts. I remember back in school, he was always the rebel student. In grade 7, our Science teacher, Mr. Kaul, beat up one of his friends such that his nose started bleeding. Alok walked right out of class with his friend and to the Vice Principal to complain against the teacher. In grade 9, we had this crazy Math teacher, Mr. Joseph, who loved to hit students with a ruler. He broke many a ruler doing that. Once he chose Alok to be his victim. As Mr. Joseph brought the ruler down to hit him, Alok put his hand out and caught hold of the ruler and said, “Don’t you dare. My own dad has never raised his hand on me. I’m not going to let you.” I remember that incident to this day. Because I remember thinking, “Daaaaymn!!! What a guy!” Sigh.

What more can I say? Alok's been a crush, a friend, a bodyguard. But above all, he's been part of the best days of my life. And I couldn't ask for anything more.

Epilogue

Writing this post has flood my head with so many beautiful memories that I think I’m going to cry. Alok, saying that you’ve been a great friend would be a gross understatement. You have always been there for me. Always. I can be sure that I will never find friends like you in my life. And maybe that’s why I’ve stopped looking for new friends. Because with a friend like you, who needs more? You’ve been a true friend in every respect of the word. And I’m sorry. I honestly did not forget your birthday. In fact, when you called me last week, before you left for Malaysia, that’s why I kept on telling you to give me your number. Because I wanted to call you and wish you just like always. It’s bad enough that I couldn’t do that, and I go ahead and mess it up big time. Happy 21st birthday, dear. I wish I were there with you, so we could have fun in “the land of rats”. Eww. I love you and I miss you. And I want you to know that I can never ever forget your birthday. Not in a million years. And I know you believe me when I say that. Anyway, I’m glad I didn’t, because I got to dedicate this post to you and I think it says much more than any e-card in the world would have. I hope that fate is done screwing you over and from now on brings you only happiness and good luck. Because it’s about time you got your share of good fortune. Muah.

P.S. – Give me your number if you’ve got one.
P.P.S. – Call me if you don’t have one.