Everything happens for a reason?
This is how I used to take every incident in my life. It made sense too. Something only happened because it was meant to. Fate. Destiny. All that sort of thing. And if something bad happened, it usually meant that there was a hidden underlying good beneath it, which may not be obvious immediately. But eventually in the long run, it will all fall into place.
Until my uncle passed away. And nothing made sense anymore. There is no possible way something good could come out of widowing a lady and making two small kids fatherless - one who still doesn’t understand the full implication of the words “Daddy’s not coming home anymore.”
It hurts to lose your best friend. It hurts all the more to lose a part of yourself. There hasn’t been a single day that has gone by since, when I haven’t wished it were I instead of him. And I love my life today. I do.
But there are days it amazes me I’m still alive. There are also days I hate being alive.
“Star light, star bright
First star I see tonight
I wish I may, I wish I might
Have the wish I wish tonight
To give a wife, her man
A father to boys, two
To exchange my life with his
Is all I ask of you”
posted by LovingAndLosing @ 10:33 pm
16 comments
16 Comments:
I read the other blog , about your uncle.and i dont really know what to say.hope things turn out good.You are ,in a little way , keeping him alive.
I understand how you feel..
I laugh at my parents when they say..
"All that happens is for good."
I hope all this talk of wishing it were you instead of him is to show your depth of feeling.. After all you probably mean as much to your parents and your siblings as your uncle meant to his wife and his kids.. In fact, given your age and the numerous things you have to look forward to in the coming years, I'm certain your uncle would have preferred it to be HIM if it HAD to be one of you.
I am totally against the theory that what has happened, has happened for a reason but the fact remains that what has happened has happened. The best and only thing you can do now is to bring light into hearts of his wife and children. (I'm sure you are doing that already.. your other blog reflects this.. I'm touched.. )
im speechless... taking the lives of our beloved.. thts a way of god i cannot understand.. no reason seems fulfilling..
..p..
hi vidya... i know what u mean coz i've gone thru the same feelings not too long ago...
i agree with u priya..
abhinav and nirmal.. ur comments are indeed comforting but i dnt think its as easy(atleast for me) to come to terms with reality..
V
everything happens for good. well might be true in some cases .but not always. often we let things happen... u see a man by the road side..hit by a car.. now how many ppl do u think might go and try to help him.. I have seen people hit by local trains and by signal posts while hanging out from the train.. in bombay.. and lying on a stretcher for hrs on the platfroms with blood all over.. hospitals still require to file and FIR before they treat the patients from accidents... well these r cases whom we leave to their fate when we could have done some thing.. often u get the chance to tell some one u love him/her .. but u dont and regret it l8r.. well might eventually find some one better later.. but u cant say fate forbade u from proposing... its all upto us.. sometimes we just let things happen coz we dont wanna take risks.. and we seek justification by relating to the good things that happen later.. but I am sure that u wld still regret it sometimes... ofcourse. death is for most times not in ur control..
but there r things that r in our hands and we let go of them sometimes.. u have to accept that it was our stupidity and not relate it to fate or destiny..
destiny or fate comes only when things r out of our control.. may be death..
Cant find words.
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Abhi and Nirmal: Thanks. I don't really know what to think or say either. My other blog is the only way I can keep him alive for me everyday.
Priya: What I hate is that there are so many people who deserve to die. People who cause others pain, people who take the lives of other people, people who are just the scum of the earth. But they all seem to live long fulfilling lives. Not someone like my uncle who did nothing but bring laughter into people's lives. So bloody unfair.
Divya: I still believe my uncle is alive. I feel like when I go home next time, he'll be there, waiting for me with open arms and his dirty jokes, just like always. I don't even want to be strong. Twice in 2 and a half years is just too much even for me to take. I lost a very dear friend first, and my uncle a couple of months ago. Life seems so worthless sometimes without the people who loved you and made you smile everyday.
Vishy: If I ever see someone hurt, I will make sure I stop to help. Because I know what it feels like to hurt inside everyday, missing someone I love. And I will just for one moment focus on that feeling and I will realise that I do not want anyone else to go through that. And so I will help this person who will be somebody to someone. And I will try to spare that someone the pain that I'll deal with for the rest of my life.
RA: You have said enough kind words already :)
the post is from your heart. dont want to say anything.
V..
We really cannot see any good in such things. It makes no sense at all. What good can possibly come of the natural disasters that strike the world? Or terrorist attacks? Or famine, disease? Who knows what grand scheme the Person pulling the strings up there has in mind for us? We can be angry, resentful, confused but questions such as these cannot be answered by anyone on this plane.
We just have to be grateful for the life that we have been given. Its a very fragile life, and its at times like this that we should but all the more realise that we should make the most of it. Kal ho na ho?
I'm very sorry for your loss. I can only but imagine what you must be going through. You sound like a strong girl, and you will get through this, as will your uncle's family. They all have my best wishes.
ms.v.read the other blog abt ur uncle...its great u keeping hm alive that way...there is no reason for good ppl to go away.. and dono y the bad ones always stay...
arch
Ahem,"Everything that happens is for The Good"..Hmmmm...There are two types of people who say this
1)People who Believe in a Good God.From their perspective,God is trying to make the world a better place by blessing those who are good and punishing those who are Evil.There is the Devil who keeps waging a war with God and so on and so forth.When they see a Fatality of this war who was on Gods side they say "It was for the Good".
2)The Second kinda Ppl dont believe that there is any such thing as universal "Good"...God is the creator of everything,He is All powerful...But didnt he Create the Devil?..If George Bush thought he was good and so did Osama Bin Ladin who would you vouch for??...What I am trying to say is EVEN Hitler thought God was on his side and he was doing good...Its all subjective...Theres no such thing as a Universal good...So when Ppl who believe this say "Its all for the Good",what they mean is They have Faith in the way God has managed Hitler,Osama,Bush,Gandhi and The Devil in the grandscheme of things.The Death in Ones own family is a part of the grand Immense strategy planned by God and we have faith that this plan is worth it, tho we dont know shit abt it.
Ms. V, Now that I have mustered enough strength to go further than your few beautiful lines and into the actual comments, I totally disagree with u on one thing..
"What I hate is that there are so many people who deserve to die"
Who is good and who is bad is just your perspective. You cannot judge who deserves to die. Nobody deserves to die and everyone deserves to live. We feel sad that our loved ones depart from us physically, but that doesnt mean its totally unfair. Life is being fair by being unfair to everyone!
For example, you ask Steve Jobs and he will say Bill Gates deserves to die, but that guy is helping me make my living! So everything in life can only be in a certain context. And your context is wrt the pain u feel in ur heart everyday. But who doesnt? Its not a mere coincidence that we learn to cry even before we learn to smile!
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yeah ... every single thing happens for a reason .. and if u lose friend ... dats not much important ... but if u feel u have lost a part of ur self ... then this means that the one goin away iz an important thing in ur life ... keep in touch wid him/her
live life ... love life ...
ProfeXor...How do u keep in touch with someone whos dead?
There is no destruction ... only transition.
-Same anon as on the other board. :-))
Does anybody ever wonder if they know what it means when they say:
"Everything happens for a reason."
If you read any philosophy text, then you will know that there is not much meaning in this phrase ... its a total bucket of horse-recycled ...grass.
So ... time to stop using these empty sounds, fellow humans (well I wonder about that sometimes).
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