Home new home

Okay. So it looks like vulgar humour doesn't go down too well with my male-dominated audience. Even Sonu Sood received more attention! I don't really know what to make of that but well, whatever makes you happy.

So I shifted to a 2 bedroom apartment, because it just made sense. Three people cannot live in a one bedroom apartment for too long without things getting a bit too uncomfortable, what with our differing sexualities and all that jazz.

I love the apartment. I hate the apartment.

Why I love the apartment?

1. We have cute furry racoons as our new neighbours. They just sit all night outside our windows and look in at us curiously.
2. It's bigger! There's lots of space, and it feels good.
3. We have tiles! Yippee. No more burnt carpets. I love tile. So much easier to keep clean. So much easier to tip-toe on without making any noise.
4. The bathroom's painted a funky blue, instead of boring white. I love bathrooms. They're the only place in the house where you can stay uninterrupted.
5. We have a working vent in the bathroom. Yes, I know. I KNOW.
6. It's our landlord's ex-apartment. So it's in pretty good condition.
7. It's right next to the laundry room. No more going down only to find all the machines taken.
8. We can jump all we want because we live in the basement. So we have no bitch downstairs who complains about it!
9. We get channels we don’t even pay for!!!
10. I still live with the same old roommates.

Why I hate the apartment?

1.It’s further away from the bus-stop. So now I have to give myself 10 minutes to spare instead of 2 minutes to spare.
2.We won’t receive the ex-renter’s copies of Reader’s Digests anymore!!!
3.I have a smaller room than before. So that means there’s less ground space to fling my mess onto.
4.Since we now live in the basement, the curtains have to be pulled close all the time lest I want to be putting up a free show for the people walking by.
5.The damn racoons bite. So the windows have to be kept shut as they have no nets.
6.Now the shower’s not only a water-heat-fluctuating wretch but a water-pressure-fluctuating wretch too. And that’s not too much fun when you’re facing the shower!
7.Our exhaust fan in the kitchen supposedly vibrates too much. So now we have a bitch upstairs who complains about it.
8.Well, obviously the rent’s more since it’s a bigger apartment.
9.The kitchen kinda sucks. Not enough cupboard space, and a much smaller and older fridge. Ugh.
10.I still live with the same old roommates.

And I end with a hilarious quote I read somewhere - "Nobody dies a virgin because life fucks us." Never heard words so fine eh?